Three Dependable Ways To Building Self-Confidence (Part 3/3)
(Hey, if this is the first article of mine you’re reading, please check the links in conclusion first to better understand Amber and her journey)
I hope you were able to work on identifying your triggers and showing kindness to yourself through your healing journey. As mentioned in my previous article, embodying confidence requires us to become self-aware and accept ourselves wholly.
Now that you are at the stage where you catch yourself before reacting to a situation, it’s time to take a step forward to healing yourself.
Confidence builds with experience.
Let me explain, remember the first time you took on that project at school or at work? How nervous you were about getting everything right? And did you get everything right on the first go? Probably not.
But now, can you do that task again without the same level of fear? I’m guessing yes.
What changed? You got a tiny bit more confident than when you first tried that “something new.”
Similarly, our fear of failure keeps us stuck and stagnant in life. Years may pass without us realizing we’re in the same place we were all because we feared taking that leap.
Amber, too, was stuck repeating the same patterns and finding the same results each time. She was exhausted. But her fear of failure never led her to challenge herself and try something new.
Being adventurous is not just a virtue some people are born with. It’s a skill you, too, can develop. Let’s look at what Amber’s coach told her to build this spirit of adventure.
Remember when you were young and fell off a bike? You’d have probably felt embarrassed. Your parents must’ve gotten worried. Your friends would’ve probably laughed. But you got back on that bike, and then what?
Eventually, you stopped falling, and you started riding. Slowly you started riding fast. Slowly you started going down the slopes that once scared you.
The point I’m trying to make is two-fold:
- You’re going to be okay
- The more you push yourself, the more your confidence.
If Amber were to try something new, she’d constantly think of hypothetical situations where thoughts like:
- “But what if they laugh at me?”
- “Oh my god, they’re going to mock me all my life!”
- “Good God, that would be so embarrassing. I’d rather die!”
- “But what if I fail?”
These thoughts are the limiting beliefs that eat away at her courage to try something new. Sadly, losing that courage slowly eats away at her confidence.
How often did you let hypothetical situations stop you from trying something new?
Let’s understand how challenging yourself to have new experiences can help you build lasting confidence:
Get out of your Comfort Zone
How lovely is this safe cocoon that you’ve built yourself? You’ve managed to make yourself a life that’s:
- Secure and free of any risk, meaning you don’t fear losing anything.
- Comfortable even though it brings so many problems.
But are you genuinely happy? Why aren’t you listening to that voice that tells you to try something new?
So often, we’re caught up in our safety net that we forget what it is to live. Meanwhile, people who understand and accept that the only predictable thing in life is change are the ones we look up to becoming duplicate copies of.
Thousands of coaches, mental health specialists, entrepreneurs, researchers, and the world’s best thinkers share that we need to ditch our comfort zones to grow. And yet, there’s something that’s happening that keeps us stuck.
What can that be? Fear! Fear of the unknown. Fear of failing.
As cliche as it may be, “The only way out is through.”
You need to challenge yourself to get out of your limiting beliefs to set goals for yourself. To focus on building your whole personality. Not just focusing on your career, education, family, or any particular thing you focus on. You need to become a well-rounded individual, and you can.
Take those tiny steps. Even if it may be as little as eating alone in your favorite restaurant. Every step counts. Slowly you’ll begin to see how pushing yourself through your fears and out of your comfort zone would lead you to places you never even imagined to find yourself.
Move to that place you dreamed of, buy that car, go on that holiday, get your heart broken, start that damn business, make mistakes. I promise you, just like Amber, you’ll also build safety within yourself. By getting out of your comfort zone and betting on yourself, you’ll become more confident.
Do you know why athletes and CEOs, and successful people thrive? They work on building discipline.
When done consistently, these people know every tiny step adds up to form an unbeatable mountain.
Break down your tasks into their simplest components and consistently show up for yourself. Amber is proof it works.
When Amber wanted to learn to play the guitar, she just practiced one chord at a time. Every day, strictly for 5 minutes a day for the first month, she’d hold one chord. Then Amber would transition to a new chord within that time.
Eventually, she’d be up to thirty minutes of practice a day within only three months. What do you think happens after six months? She’s playing the tunes to many songs.
Showing up consistently is crucial. Building the discipline to show up for yourself boosts your confidence because:
- It trains your mind to remember you’re worth showing up for.
- It helps you learn many skills over time.
- Even though you show up for a few minutes, you’re consistent, which adds up in the end.
So, what’s something new you’ll make a part of your daily routine from today?
“Life is tough” is an understatement. We know that already.
For Amber, too:
- Having a 9–5, which seems more like a 7–7 job,
- Coming home and meal prepping,
- Studying for her long-distance masters in psychology,
- Taking care of her dog, Cookie,
- Doing all the household chores,
- Maintaining friendships and everything that brings with it,
- Getting ready for holiday seasons, I mean, the list goes on.
We have a lot of things that make our 24 hours seem like it isn’t enough. If we’re not careful enough, things can quickly become mundane. You can fly past ten years, not realizing you’re living the exact life.
How do you add some zing to life? Moreover, why is this zing so important?
Having hobbies helps you:
- Have a younger, healthier brain. Because you’re challenging it with something new.
- Build something beautiful. Whatever your hobby, working on a task consistently helps your creative energy flow.
- Release stress. As stress builds up in life, you need to open a vent or two to let the steam escape. What hobbies help you relax?
- Feel more fulfilled and accomplished as you’re busy investing in yourself and things that bring you joy.
- Grow in life. Hobbies help you challenge yourself and give you a safe space to remind yourself that you’re worth it.
All of these aspects help you become more confident. The more layers you have to your personality, the more you realize it wasn’t about your body, face, mind, or anything else alone. You are a combination of it all. And all of you combined, make a confident human being.
In the End
Thank you for staying with me through this journey of self-growth. I hope you encourage yourself consistently as you move towards embodying confidence.
Our journey doesn’t end here. I’ve got loads in store for you.
Next week, we’ll look at the reasons that influence our lives and leach away at our confidence. Once the past makes sense, it will help you become more mindful of your present.
Saving history from repeating itself can also help you move towards a future you’ve always envisioned.
Intriguing topics are yet to come. This article was the final part of Amber’s journey to building confidence. Next time, let’s tackle the signs of low self-confidence and how your insecurities came to be.
Keep track of Amber’s life story and our confidence series sequence here:
- Amber’s Story
- Amber’s shift in mindset to confidence
- Amber’s tested tools to building confidence Part 1
- Amber’s tested tools to building confidence Part 2
- Amber’s tested tools to building confidence Part 3
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